Posts Tagged ‘Die Hard’

Its that time of the year again folks, novelty jumpers and overindulgence.  Pine needles and flashing lights. Mistletoe and harassment lawsuits. And as the whole country looks like the bleedin’  Tundra, we thought you might need some inspiration to get some greats on the small screen. So here’s our rundown of the top 5 festive feature lengths you should be viewing this holiday season.

To kick us off in at Number 5….Scrooged

We’ve all seen A Wonderful Life and and we’re familiar with the age old story of three ghouls haunting a grumpy old git until he rediscovers the true meaning of the holiday season. Granted. But when that grumpy geezer happens to be Bill Murray,  we’re in like Flynn. Richard Donner’s 1988 Scrooged is comedy gold, and one of our all time favourite Murray performances. He plays Frank Cross a high-end TV exec. with a bad attitude towards humanity. When the not so traditional spectres of past present and future Christmas’s pay him a visit, hilarity unfolds. Allow yourself to forget the festive spirit for a moment here, because from the dead pan to the slap-stick to the down right outrageous, this film captures the spirit of Bill Murray and yes kids, thats worth more than the original Big Red Fun Bus in its original packaging. So drop the turkey drumstick and get the cans out of  the coal-shed, this a real festive feast!

In at Number 4… Home Alone

You may know Christopher Columbus as the Italian pirate who mistook the American Apache for the cast of Slumdog Millionaire back at the turn of the 16th century, but here at Radar we know him as the Pennsylvanian director behind one of our childhood favourite yule tide Christmas comedies. Home Alone starred Macaulay Culkin as the young Kevin McCallister who’s family take a seasonal family holiday…………. without him.  Enter Harry and Marv (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) two hopeless neighbourhood crooks who suspect the house empty and plan to fleece the place. Unbeknownst to them, Kevin isn’t your average 8 year old kid. He’s more like Magyver the younger years. What follows is a series of hilarious home made booby-traps and you get a good hour of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern enduring what is essentially a fail compilation of epic proportions. Queue Carol of the Bells, and let the good times roll.

In at Number 3… Bad Santa

When you think comedy greats, Billy Bob Thornton wouldn’t be the first name that springs to mind, but in 2003 he led the frontline in one of the funniest films ever made. Whether you watch it in December or the middle of June, Terry Zwigoff’s Bad Santa will have you pissing yourself worse than Stephen Hawking after a glass of prune juice. And to help in the process, they threw in Tony Cox the foul mouthed little dude from Me, Myself and Irene and an original king of comedy, the late great Bernie Mac. While Billy Bob and Tony, who play Store Santa and his little helper respectively, spend the festive season robbing shopping malls, they run into a spot of bother when the latest head of security, Gin (Bernie Mac) catches on to them. But it wouldn’t be a Christmas classic if it didn’t carry a message of good will and cheer for the bla bla bla, and so they befriend a local troubled 8 year old who believes Billy Bob to be the real deal and lets him stay in his house and there shows him the real meaning of Christmas. Hilarious banter ensues.

In at Number 2… The Muppet Christmas Carol

Don’t let the title fool you, this isn’t a third class nativity preformance from Drimnagh Castle Primary school. Thankfully! Rather, it is Jim Henson’s finest 90 minutes. Bless his fabric-fisting soul. Yes its another rendition of A christmas Carol, and where it lacks Bill Murray in the starring role of Scrooge, Michael Caine doesn’t do half-bad. Quite the opposite actually, it’s a master class from the cockney legend. But that’s not the reason the Muppet’s 1992 version is rated so highly here. It’s more to do with it being a genuine festive classic, and one for the whole family. That is, after all what the season is about. Narrated brilliantly through the witty duo of Rizzo the Rat (Gillian McKeith with a wastecoat and tail) and Gonzo the Great (The one that looks like your knob after a cold shower), it gives a more inside view to the Carol. You’re not just watching it, your taken along for the banter. And there’s no shortage. It’s usually shown at least once every Christmas Eve, so here’s a little snippet to get your sleigh-bells ringing.

And taking the top spot…

Yippee ki yay mother fucker, you guessed it. It wouldn’t be a Radar rating without an alternative number 1 spot. But i think it’s safe to say John McTiernan’s 1988 all-action classic “Die Hard” will remain as more people’s cherished number 1 than Matt Cardle and the Rubberbandits combined. Set in the Nakatomi Plaza, Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) is caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. His wife’s Christmas party has taken a turn for the worst. And no, Paul Gascoigne hasnt turned up. Instead, the gate-crashers are Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) and his band of heavily armed rent-to-kills.  Luckily for the would be movers ‘n’ shakers who’ve been taken hostage, McClane is on hand, and as we all know, he’s the kind of man that takes pleasure in eliminating terrorists quicker than a Guantanamo Bay prison guard. Queue 80’s one-liners and a soundtrack of machine gun fire. Oh and just in case you were wondering, here’s what happens when you combine a stick of c4 explosive with windows 88!  Ho Ho Ho.